The Onion takes over Infowars, and their first episode is godawful

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Imagine being The Onion, blowing millions to take over Infowars, believing you somehow now own the magic that Alex Jones created, and immediately step on a rake on your first episode, and bombing utterly? Why not shell out a few extra bucks to get someone to write some jokes, at the very least? Heidecker’s impersonation of Alex is so bad it gives me second-hand embarrassment from my living room couch. The great irony here is that Jones and Smith are far funnier than Heidecker could ever be, and they’re not even comedians. They’re effective journalists, and their commentary on various bonkers stories is funny naturally. Heidecker comes off as, well, strange. As someone who shouldn’t be filming his performances at all. What is hilarious is that, after years of drama surrounding the relentless persecution of Alex Jones and Infowars, the end result is…this pathetic display from The Onion? It’s poetic, bordering on Shakespearian. It’s crystal clear to everyone now that Alex Jones IS Infowars. The Onion bought a husk, from which the sould long ascended. He now operates and thrives at AlexJonesLive, along with Harrison and Co., where they’ll make a fortune on supplements and merch. Time Heidecker’s Infowars will probably go belly up within the year. Hilarious.

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Hegseth retreats into involuntary guilty laughter, as he’s confronted about his and Trump’s crimes in office.

Top podcast for women regularly gives life-ruining advice

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I wouldn’t normally post something like this, but ‘Call Her Daddy’ is frequently the top-ranked podcast globally for women. Watch the clip, if you can stomach it to the end, and realize that this hideously bad advice is being peddled to women 24/7. First, is she drunk, or is this how she normally behaves? It’s like listening to the female version of Andrew Tate. This is life advice on par with the worst of the toxic “manosphere”.  I’ve never seen an extended clip of her before, but she clearly is hiding behind a thin veneer of false confidence and bravado.

No, it’s not empowering to sleep with men on a first date, (or second or third or fourth) and yes, they will see you in an entirely different light afterwards. Valuable men don’t want someone who would do that, and valuable women don’t want a man who would agree to it. Afterward, you will feel worthless, not “empowered”. Sex is, or should be, the culmination of a meaningful courtship, it dissipates the romantic tension, and creates a foundation of lifelong love. It creates the meaning of life itself, and should be culturally shielded from destroyers like Cooper.

It’s grim to think that teenage girls listen to this crap, and take to heart this advice. There was a time when trash like this was kept far away from children. Now, if they have a phone, it’s within arm’s reach.

Too many fools try too hard to give advice to the young. The most dangerous and damaging is “you have all the time in the world”. A close second is this:

Digital dragnet

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Few people even know that AI-equipped license plate reading cameras even exist, much less that police have hidden them everywhere, and they’re continually pinging your location as you drive by. This is a Constitutional crisis that requires correction.

Your mandatory, personal panopticon

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Doesn’t this seem to surpass even the most outlandish surveillance state fears of the past several decades? How are we allowing this to just happen?  Why have Americans become so docile over the past 30 years to make us accept this as something not to be challenged or concerned with in the slightest?

The left-wing Southern Poverty Law Center has been secretly funding right-wing extremism for years

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This should be one of the most massive stories in decades: Left-wing scumbag org, the SPLC, has been funneling millions to right wing extremists groups for the apparent purpose of getting them to go out and cause a ruckus that can be put on the evening news. They even paid the KKK. I guess there isn’t enough batshit right wingers out there doing this stuff on their own, so the SPLC hatched a plan to create it themselves. This is where Patriot Front came from. Just look at these freaks, couldn’t they have been more subtle?

“I didn’t know it was gonna be a hit, Mike!”

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Charlie Kirk’s assassination moves further into the past, yet we continue to endure its fractal effects, aftershocks, violent tremors in the psychosphere. It felt so significant because his death meant the death of an almost certain future, for him and the nation.

It’s easy to imagine what happened: the movements behind the scene, just before Kirk’s death, probably played out similar to the failed assassination of Michael Corleone. Some miffed Fredo gets in over his head, gets involved without outside actors, and gets Kirk killed.

Reading comprehension is dying a preventable death

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Murdered, more accurately. Weaponized convenience, the death of boredom, the birth of instant gratification in the form of a high-speed digital opiate, has destroyed the minds of our children. How many kids read books when we were young? Not many. How many read books now? Vanishingly few, and fewer and fewer as the drug is further refined. Soon, almost no one will know the exquisite labor of reading and finishing a real book. Are we really going to revert to the state of a screen-addicted primate, utilizing just enough mental effort to push a button that delivers another dopamine hit? Why are we allowing this to happen?