Genocide the ticks

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Ticks provide nothing positive to our ecosystem. They pose a grave threat to us in the form of alpha-gal. Why is there no talk…at all…of the full eradication of these little fkrs? The tick explosion of 2026 is like a biblical plague, and yet we’re basically told to just accept it as a fact of life. No thanks. Total chemical warfare.

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Ditch the data centers and build nuclear power plants

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Rather than drain our resources, why not add to them to the extent that the average consumer would find himself in a veritable “post-scarcity” energy scenario? Place a nationwide moratorium on hyperscales, and instead build nuclear plants, each of which produces 24,000 megawatt hours per day. Imagine the prosperity. Just hold in your mind the possibilities that would stem from it. Build 400 nuclear plants across the nation and let us flourish in ways we never thought possible. It would take an American Gaddafi to do this, and I would pledge my unwavering support, hand over heart.

Joyless people are creating a joyless world

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There is an explanation for why this happened, and while I don’t have it fully, I think I’m moving in the right direction. In short: there is a certain type of individual who has been mass-incubated or imported over the past 20 years, whose only joy is taking it from others in small but significant ways. They are the reason that color has drained from the world, from cars to houses to music, art, et cetera. They’re the arched eyebrows scoffers, the eye rollers, the anti-jocks, the joyless theater kids, chip-on-shoulder never was’s, the soulless, and usually, the childless, although that matters less than what kind of childhood they had. They see no value in a colossal, wooden, multi-level playground because they were either never taken to one, or never wanted to go. They see no value in even mundane municipal charm, and so they divest it of character, leaving only a brutal utilitarianism. These people gravitate to menial government employment like moths to a match, and once ensconced, they unleash their poison. Once you begin to notice it, you see it everywhere. It’s most glaringly evident in our public lighting. LED Street lamps have made city nightlife grotesque. There’s no other way to say it. And this is somewhat ironic, because LED lighting has probably more potential for color variation than any other form of light. But every. single. streetlamp glows like a welding arc. Why? What aesthetic vampire is actively choosing the brightest, coldest possible setting for these godforsaken lamps? Even the local university has marred its campus with brutal blue-white tones. With the push of a button, this could be fixed, the color tone warmed, the brightest lowered, and campus would look lovely at night. We live in an ugly age where beauty gets eyerolled, where everything by default is brought down to the same spiritual and aesthetic sewer, and made ugly almost by intention.

What is the solution to the epidemic of vagrant drug addicts roaming our cities?

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It’s clearly not the policy of “let them roam free, sleep where they want, do whatever they want”. So what would it be? A new kind of facility must be legislated into being, something in between a prison and a mental hospital, where they can live out their lives safe from danger to themselves and to others. How insane it has been to enable these people, giving them everything for free with no stipulations, treating them almost as local wildlife, an inevitable aspect of living in urban environments, and allowing them to behave and live like animals: wandering streets, alleys, parks, sleeping in streets, alleys, and parks, and essentially behaving in ways that would get normal people arrested.

The Onion takes over Infowars, and their first episode is godawful

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Imagine being The Onion, blowing millions to take over Infowars, believing you somehow now own the magic that Alex Jones created, and immediately step on a rake on your first episode, and bombing utterly? Why not shell out a few extra bucks to get someone to write some jokes, at the very least? Heidecker’s impersonation of Alex is so bad it gives me second-hand embarrassment from my living room couch. The great irony here is that Jones and Smith are far funnier than Heidecker could ever be, and they’re not even comedians. They’re effective journalists, and their commentary on various bonkers stories is funny naturally. Heidecker comes off as, well, strange. As someone who shouldn’t be filming his performances at all. What is hilarious is that, after years of drama surrounding the relentless persecution of Alex Jones and Infowars, the end result is…this pathetic display from The Onion? It’s poetic, bordering on Shakespearian. It’s crystal clear to everyone now that Alex Jones IS Infowars. The Onion bought a husk, from which the soul long ascended. He now operates and thrives at AlexJonesLive, along with Harrison and Co., where they’ll make a fortune on supplements and merch. Time Heidecker’s Infowars will probably go belly up within the year. Hilarious.